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Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Another ending??? Nah, a new beginning!
"I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find"
Natasha Bedingfield, Unwritten (2004)
It seems what used to be a quiet normal life will reach the end. Misplaced my trust again, or it just looks like it. Oh, well, it really isn’t a first and, as I know myself, it surely won’t be a last! I do trust people too much…

But I will never be the only one defending a certain person. Every time I did it, I was dead wrong! Other than that, I hope I will never be in such a situation as to hurt the people who really care about me and to give satisfaction to those who always hurt me.

No matter what comes out of this situation, I’ll lend on my feet, always do! It’s others I’m worried about, C mainly, but we’ll do just fine, we always cleaned the mess we’ve made on our own…Right, C? (I will always be there by your side - Morandi, just for you)

Morandi, Love me just now. Not the best timing to listen to this song! Well, if I have to, I’ll say goodbye the moon that shines at night forever, to Mr. Completely Wrong for Me (to him I’ve already said it), to all the problems in their lives and to all the problems they’ve caused in ours…(At least we’re young and not that stupid, C! Ha!). I’ll also say good-bye to what has been a beautiful year of my life.

I called my father (my mom was in a meeting) and he acted better than I’ve ever expected him to! Thank you, really!

So what now? I don’t really know, but I was always sure someone up there really loves me, so it will all be so amazing and breathtaking!...

Ha. Dust in the wind… Right on! Isn’t it just amazing how Winamp always selects the right songs for me? The ones delivering just the message I need? Yeah, Haal, sometimes everything is connected!
posted by Alina @ 10:57 AM  
8 Comments:
  • At 6/22/2005 11:38 AM, Blogger miss_scorpio said…

    I just wish he would say it is true or false, and end my misery; so that I can move on; but we will be just fine; i will be just fine; no matter how this ends, I just hope I am in good health to start all over again; and I have learned a lot from this;

     
  • At 6/22/2005 11:39 AM, Blogger miss_scorpio said…

    thank u for the support; I know it is quite dissapointing for you too.

     
  • At 6/22/2005 11:57 AM, Blogger Alina said…

    Yes. it is quite disappointing, but what can I do? Maybe just someday tell him this :"God gives you everything you ask from Him. But he doesn't put it in your mouth!" :))Welcome, anytime!

     
  • At 6/22/2005 2:02 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    C, we really are the perfect team! Ha! Ha! Here we go again!

     
  • At 6/22/2005 10:21 PM, Anonymous Calliani said…

    Another problem of life is the effect of love in our lifes. Is there anybody there who wants to cancel this feeling inside? As they said u never know what u got till it's gone. So try not to break hearts which are already beating for you because of what you are. Try to believe, try not to lie, try to trust, try to earn trust, just give a try if u and your mind have time. Leave the teardrops free, they will fall down anyhow like all of us. and c u next love!!!

     
  • At 6/23/2005 9:41 AM, Blogger Alina said…

    Oh, Calliani, I wish it was only a love life issue! But it is a whole lot more than that! A lot more serious...
    As for the "try again" concept, I completely agree with it. I think cowards are the only ones who run away from another love after being let down.

     
  • At 6/23/2005 12:56 PM, Blogger miss_scorpio said…

    I wish it was already Monday so that I had escaped alive and mentally sane from home and be trying to solve all there is to solve next week. Let the end begin!
    ** so tired of understanding others. :(

     
  • At 6/23/2005 1:02 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    I know, C! I would like to be granted a glance to the near future (a week or two) so that we'd know which way we're going! I'm tired of us depending on others to make decissions...

     
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Name: Alina
Home: Bucharest, Bucharest, Romania
About Me: "This is my church. This is where I heal my hurts". It's also where I feel free and my preferred means of expression.
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