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Tuesday, June 21, 2005
What to make of this?
I know you guys out there do have a different way of seeing things, understanding things, judging things, expressing things, so maybe one of you could make a little issue clear for me:

I know a guy who I actually dated for two very short whiles. He lied to me about certain stuff and mainly he acted like an idiot. Continuing his manly spree he is now saying he is dating these two intelligent and beautiful girls and that he’s ok for now with this very shallow situation. Then he goes on saying that he actually only wants me and will keep trying to get me at a certain point.

He says he’ll put his trust in other men. As he knows men, he’s pretty damn sure they will disappoint me enough to want him back. Now, I understand men have this distorted view on women’s depression and some of them are convinced they could do pretty desperate things in such a state. But! If someone blows his second chance, how can he even imagine a third chance, especially when the relationship was way to brief to get to serious feelings such as love?

What I got from all this is that he somehow sees “I am completely crazy and stupid” written on me or he has a too good image of himself in his mind. But as I know we gals think differently, I am pretty sure I’m not getting anything how I should…

And if someone can explain this too me, try explaining another old dilemma of mine: Why do men start wanting a certain woman long after she stopped wanting them? Why can’t they understand she wants them unless it is spelled out on a huge banner for them?
posted by Alina @ 1:03 PM  
40 Comments:
  • At 6/21/2005 4:14 PM, Blogger Mohamed said…

    Dump him. There are plenty of guys out there!

     
  • At 6/21/2005 4:16 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    Don't worry, I did dump him ages ago! But it seems he thiks the world (me included) revolves around him!

     
  • At 6/21/2005 4:16 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    The link to your blog was really funny, though!

     
  • At 6/21/2005 4:42 PM, Blogger Mohamed said…

    The divorce is happening you know!

    Seriously, I think that guy you speak of doesn't deserve a good woman. 1) he lies (yes they all do, but how big was his lie?) 2) he didn't value u twice (although those were very short periods, so this may not count), 3) he think u'll want him bcs there are no good men out there, not a good enough reason, 4) showing off that he's dating two other girls should not be the way to get u back!

     
  • At 6/21/2005 4:46 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    How big was the lie? Let me think...Enormous would be the correct word. They were short periods, but he started it every time, working really hard to convince me.

    Mohamed, thank you for agreeing with me on this! Indeed, he doesn't deserve half of the women he's been with. And he really doesn't deserve me!

     
  • At 6/21/2005 5:41 PM, Blogger haal said…

    Yes, we all know the divorce is happening, cant you hold yourself until it actually happens.

    I hate that you are running after her on all the blogs like this. And she is as usual flirting with you everywhere. Before on Koussa and bateekh, now her guy that she dumped, and who knows what else later.

    Broken windows, dont make me break your neck.

     
  • At 6/21/2005 5:45 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    Hilarious, Haal! I love it when your playing the angry-jealous wife! It looks so much like the posts of the Group of Doom!!!:))

     
  • At 6/21/2005 5:45 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    you're playing...

     
  • At 6/21/2005 6:18 PM, Blogger doshar said…

    i have given up on getting to know how a guy thinkks and why, but i think they sometimes don't know themselves either. they couldn't be bothered to get in touch with their feelings for real. or with other people's. they are really lacking in the empathy department.they are only in touch with their shallow impulses which i don't think really come from the heart.

    but i do think that their ego is in control in alot of situations, wether they lie to make themselves feel better or look better, or when they go after someone to feel that they can never be forgotten.

    you probably really would flatter his ego if you are with him (he probably feels you are a great gal- in guy terms i mean not in depth-and if you are with him then he must be amazing!!!)

    the lying business is very bad though. it can lead to alot of ugliness. good for you for leaving.

    i think he has a somewhat narcissist character. i read alot about this last year to understand how they actually think. you'll find alot of this stuff on the net. they can be very dangerous.

    about why a guy doesn't know you like them except if it is on a banner i say this:

    THEY KNOW, unless you like someone secretly from you r window, they know . they are not that stupid. right mohamed?

    they just pretend they don't notice so as to keep their options open or so as not have to take any action

    btw, this does not apply to all guys, to be fair. but it is quite common, especially with inflated egos.

     
  • At 6/21/2005 6:37 PM, Blogger Mohamed said…

    Do we really know Doshar? I don't know. You don't have to hold a banner or anything, but you don't have to play hard to get either. Just be simple and be yourself, without throwing yourself onto the guy.

     
  • At 6/21/2005 7:24 PM, Blogger haal said…

    I see you are becoming a love-relationship advisor. Why dont you do what you preach?

     
  • At 6/22/2005 10:12 AM, Blogger Alina said…

    True, men can be really shallow at times! But with the noticing part, it's not always about keeping their options close by. They are somethimes too mesmerized by someone else at the moment, or something else - like their job!
    "Just be simple and be yourself, without throwing yourself onto the guy" - tried it all the time...It worked, after a long time, but it sometimes worked. Other times I just stoped wanting the guy and now he's chasing me, although it's,y'know, pointless..:))
    Haal, what do you mean by "practice what you preach"? Is Mohamed throuwin himself onto you too much?:))

     
  • At 6/22/2005 3:09 PM, Anonymous Oana said…

    My Darling,as I alwayls tell you,you're making too much of the stupid little things that the various totally irrelevant guys you know tell you.They ARE NOT taking themselves seriously.Why should you??Just stop taking EVERYTHING so personal!Not everyone's words are broken mirrors.Most of them are just "post-its" on the fridge.

     
  • At 6/22/2005 3:25 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    Oana, for words like this I love you! I know their words are not important at all! But somethimes they are amazingly stupid! :))

     
  • At 6/22/2005 4:00 PM, Blogger Mohamed said…

    Thanks gals. Kayla, Oana, Doshar, Haal, I'm flattered...

     
  • At 6/22/2005 4:32 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    Come on, Mohamed, we all know you are an exception! :))Now, to quote Haal, don't take it too personal! It's not! I'm sure all of us have a pretty good picture of who we are talking about and it's not you! Oh, well, maybe just your virtual wife, she might have you in mind...:))

     
  • At 6/22/2005 5:10 PM, Blogger Mohamed said…

    Well, you're all so easily generalizing about ALL guys. There are very special guys out there. Think of those for a change and forget about your untypical ones.

    My virtual wife is a lovely wife, no complaints about her. Perfect marriage :)

     
  • At 6/22/2005 5:23 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    Yeah, I know she's a lovely wife...I was talking about you! :))

    The special guys: dead, taken, gay, Catholic priests, not born yet, still minors, living on other continents...And other stuff! After eliminating this, they're really just a few!:)

     
  • At 6/22/2005 5:30 PM, Blogger Mohamed said…

    So the men who are special, are the ones who aren't interested in women!! Is this the kind of guy you want, one who's not interested in you?

     
  • At 6/22/2005 5:33 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    No, I meant if they still exist and are not holly men, gay or already dead, they are either already taken, either just 5 years old at the moment! :)
    I was just stressing the fact that the special men you talked about are not that easy to find...

     
  • At 6/22/2005 5:46 PM, Blogger Mohamed said…

    Kayla, special people are hard to find --guys and girls.

     
  • At 6/22/2005 5:49 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    True, Mohamed, but can you imagine how crazy I would look if I complaiened about how hard it was to find special girls these days???:)) I'm so funny for an upset person!

     
  • At 6/22/2005 5:55 PM, Blogger Mohamed said…

    Hehe.. you are.. but believe me.. if you were looking for women who are special, you'd have the same tough time you're having now. So, PLEASE, don't switch. :)

     
  • At 6/22/2005 8:49 PM, Blogger haal said…

    Everyone is special in his/her own way. The important thing is to feel this 'special' quality and respect it.

    Darling Mohamed, dinner is ready, and I am waiting for your lovely company.

     
  • At 6/23/2005 12:16 AM, Blogger MoonLightShadow said…

    Hilarious, guys :))

    Personally, I’d go with what Haal said. Each person is special in his own way.. what I might see as a negative point, is the positive for others.. I don’t like generalizations.

     
  • At 6/23/2005 9:05 AM, Blogger Mohamed said…

    Yes, "altayeboon leltayebat, walkhabeethoon lelkhabeethat", -- the kind for the kind, and the mischievous for the mischievous-- both will fall for each other and think of the other as special I guess! (most of the time)

     
  • At 6/23/2005 9:43 AM, Blogger Alina said…

    Right on, Mohamed! If you only knew how right you were...

     
  • At 6/23/2005 9:44 AM, Blogger Alina said…

    Haal, MoonLight, I hope what you say is true, because most of the people that know me think I'm completely crazy and that I talk way too much! So it's good to know someone could at a certain point consider me special! :))

     
  • At 6/23/2005 10:19 AM, Blogger Mohamed said…

    Hey Kayla, we all find you special. Don't worry about that.

     
  • At 6/23/2005 10:27 AM, Blogger Alina said…

    :)) I just remembered how people use this special word to comfort people who have some serious issues! Hope we're not all looking for that!:))

     
  • At 6/23/2005 10:51 AM, Blogger Mohamed said…

    I think none of us is looking for that.

    You're right, we shouldn't say it, if its not felt, its meaningless.

     
  • At 6/23/2005 10:57 AM, Blogger Alina said…

    Yeah, and if it's something that we really feel, we should just say it as often as possible! Unlsess what we feel is, y'know, hate, anger, stuff like that! :))

     
  • At 6/23/2005 1:49 PM, Blogger haal said…

    you guys are really cute. Felt like brother, sister dialogue. Sweet.
    Kayla, I personally like how you are on the blog. Spontaneous, sharp, funny, talkative, sweet agressive,.... these what appeals to me. I like this character as a package. Sometimes maybe I will want you to STOP SHUT THE ...., but if you did, I will be quick to miss the original personality.

    So, be yourself. Love who you are. THis is the only way people will love you. Don't pretend to be quieter or whatever, you can just tone down the extreme reactions or talks, but never attempt to be someone else to please anyone.

     
  • At 6/23/2005 1:56 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    Thanx, Haal, what you said was very nice! To be honest, I did try talk less, but I simply cannot! :))Good thing I also have this blog to say what's on my mind!:)

     
  • At 6/23/2005 2:13 PM, Blogger haal said…

    But, hey, this doesn't mean that you can play nice on my Husband. I like you, yes, but come closer to 'From Cairo', GOD NOOOOO..... He is the best thing happened to me on this blog. :)

    Keep the black sea plans in mind. Might consider it.

     
  • At 6/23/2005 2:19 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    My dearest Haal, if you really come to the Black Seea, I will take you to some places (clubs&discoes, stuff like that), that would make certain acquaintances of yours preach for days!!!:))Better yet, leave FromCairo in his beloved Cairo! We'll have a "Thelma & Louise" theme holliday! What d'ya say?

     
  • At 6/23/2005 3:24 PM, Blogger Mohamed said…

    Hey hey Kayla. Don't try to take Haal all for yourself now. She's coming along re the Black Sea plans, so lets work on it together --all of us ;)

    I had plans a long time ago to go to Varna with my half-Bulgarian friend of mine, but they never happened. Maybe it was meant to be with much better company, and with much better activities. Don't think we'll have time for the Discos and clubs!

    Haal, *.

     
  • At 6/23/2005 3:32 PM, Blogger haal said…

    Kayla dear, I know it would be fun but it will be triple fun with 'Fromcairo' with me. I am sure you know what I mean.

    Mohamed, same here :)
    Did you eat the sandwitches I made for you this morning, or not yet. Drive slowly.

     
  • At 6/23/2005 3:33 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    Mohamed, you guys are coming on MY territory! So if you don't share Haal willingly, I'll just kidnap her! Ha! :))

     
  • At 6/23/2005 3:35 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    Well, I decided it's better to be four on this trip! But as I have no ideea what man to take with me, I think I should start a competition for a VR husband of my own...What do you guys think?

     
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Name: Alina
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