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Friday, March 23, 2007
A Bunch of Jokes (on marriage mostly)
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

A young son asked,
"Is it true dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied,
"That happens in every country, son."

Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

"A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death "

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A Blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."

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posted by Alina @ 6:51 PM  
  • At 3/23/2007 8:56 PM, Anonymous Radu C said…

    This is proof that I can't be sane. I mean, I have to be crazy if I disagree with the message transmitted by these jokes right? :) To me, marriage is another evolutionary step, not the worst that can happen to you. Guilty as charged: I'm crazy your honor.

    Actually, there's also another explanation, but I won't say it in public :D

  • At 3/23/2007 10:38 PM, Blogger SaRaH said…

    Hehe I loved the one about the blind man it is sooooo funny. I love your new template Kay it is awesome..

  • At 3/23/2007 11:20 PM, Blogger paris parfait said…

    Very clever collection!

  • At 3/24/2007 11:37 AM, Blogger Alina said…

    Radu, most people don't feel like that about marriage. well, at times they might, but most of the time they don't see it as the end of their mortal lives :) But you have to admit this is funny.

    Sarah, i also liked that one a lot :)

    Paris Parfait, thanks for your visit, glad you liked my collection :)

  • At 3/24/2007 3:20 PM, Anonymous Mihaela Lica said…

    "When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him."

    This is not a joke. It's the naked truth. It happened to me... well, that's the reason why I left my husband. Esther, the one who "stole" him, still regrets the day... And you know what? I pity her. I feel sorry for her... naivety.
    Are women so stupid to believe that a cheating man would ever change his ways? She had it even worse than me...

  • At 3/24/2007 7:41 PM, Anonymous Sim said…

    I'm getting married :( Come on, you cannot post these jokes.

  • At 3/24/2007 10:56 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    Mihaela, you have a great point there. Actually I believe those who can cheat will always cheat. There are some exceptions though. Not that many unfortunately.

    Sim, your case will always be the exception that confirms the rules :P So relax :))

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Name: Alina
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