Ryan posted a comment on a previous post yesterday. It was about someone’s status message, a quote from a Holograf song. It said “It happens once, than you spend your whole life searching for it”. And my first reaction was, in the Two Stupid Dogs pattern: “Isn’t that cute, but it’s wrong!” Is it? After thinking about it a little more, and not judging by my first subjective reaction, my take on this changed drastically. Everything that happens for the first time sets a pattern. It creates a “should be” concept that we then expect to repeat itself and try to apply it to subsequent happenings. The first relationship sets the standards for relationships in general, for example. Why is that so wrong? Well, given the fact that we advertise our uniqueness so aggressively, being in contact with different individuals can hardly lead to the same type of reactions/answers/behavior and so on. Other than the always mentioned uniqueness, there are also circumstances which have this bad habit of changing at a fast pace. But we come, in any situation, with our own set of expectations, kidding ourselves with a will to adapt. To be able to adapt to something, you have to agree it is new and that nothing already know to you is applicable. But you have that whole bunch of “should be-s” with you? What are you supposed to do? Give up on them? Change everything again and again? That’s revolting! Yes, humans speak of adapting to anything, but they limit adaptation techniques as much as possible. Thus we end-up living in afterglows of situations put on a high pedestal that our mind also alters to the best possibility. The past is gone, we say, yet we choose to linger on as much as possible. When we should simply sake it off, move on and wait for the new stage to take place. With no should have and would have attitudes. Otherwise we allow ourselves to be deceived by our own greatly wrong expectations and pass by what is really there for us to experience. So I leave you to today’s song (INXS – Afterglow), reminding you of what NOT to do for too long: Here I am, lost in the light of the moon that comes through my window
Bathed in blue, the walls of my memory divides the thorns from the roses
It's you and the roses
Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As I let you go I will find my way when I see your eyes
Now I'm living in your afterglow
Here I am, lost in the ashes of time, but who owns tomorrow?
In between the longing to hold you again
I'm caught in your shadow, I'm losing control
My mind drifts away, we only have today
Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As I let you go I will find my way
I will sacrifice 'til the blinding day when I see your eyes
Now I'm living in your afterglow
When the veils are gone, as I let you go, as I let you go
Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As I let you go I will find my way, I will sacrifice
Now I'm living in your afterglow
Bathed in blue, the walls of my memory divides the thorns from the roses
It's you who is closest |
Remember what we've discussed on Tuesday? I was telling you that regardless of how hard you try to find someone or something that you consider a perfect fit, you might never succeed...
So, in love or in life, you get to do all these compromises, that leave a sour taste in your soul, but somehow keep you going...