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Thursday, February 17, 2005
Old addictions
I have this weird habit since I was in secondary school: if I have a crush on someone, I make up these very complicated stories about my life with that person. Even more awkward than that, the stories basically have the same pattern: happy, happy, joy, joy, I go through a lot of suffering because he is an idiot and does not realize what he is about to lose, comes back to me, happy, happy, joy, joy…The whole fantasizing stops if I actually get to be with that certain someone…
Tonight I was so happy and dreaming with my eyes very wide open about Mr. Totally Wrong for Me. Roses, love, the whole bunch…I should really get over this crap! It really is not doing me any good. I kind of diminished the expansion degree of these very complicated stories lately, but still… I should stop completely!
Making up stories with a lot of characters is something I did since I can remember. Every time I was home alone like. But that was when I was little…and was trying to fill a large amount of time spent home alone with nothing interesting broadcasted by the TV stations…
The weirdest thing is this is the first time I talk about it… Maybe because I know I really have to stop! Stop fantasizing about how it would be when I could actually live it! “Wait… Just wait!” (Riddick quotation – yeah, I have an obsession with Vin Diesel, that is why I use lines from his movies), wait until you have the chance to live it…
Name: Alina Home: Bucharest, Bucharest, Romania About Me: "This is my church. This is where I heal my hurts". It's also where I feel free and my preferred means of expression. See my complete profile
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