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Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Randomized thoughts
I’m in a very weird state. Would like to shout out everything that’s weighing on my heart but I cannot. Something, some shield in my brain stops me! Like there’s some voice inside saying to me “You cannot say that! It is not something they want to hear from you! Shut your mouth!” At a certain moment I could practically feel my heart aching. It felt extremely heavy and I could felt it touching, pressing against the surrounding areas of my body. Silent tears that I could not stop yet could not cry either. It hurt but nothing or no one actually hurt me. Or did they? Does this whole state of being situation trouble me? Yes it does!

My life is my own, true! But to what extent? You also have your life A., remember that! Well I wasn’t aware there are separate parts of my life to manage.
posted by Alina @ 12:03 PM  
  • At 8/31/2005 5:06 PM, Blogger doshar said…

    hey kayla, been a while since i 've come here, and you've been busy getting tagged!

    now i see why your heart has too much to handle. as if it is oversensitized or something?

    relax a bit, pick a good friend (she has to be a VERY patient good friend) and just talk and talk and talk, and repeat over and over till this weight thing gets better. keeping it in would just drag you down.

    i am currently doing this to my sister, and God bless her, she listens. even when i say absolute rubbish.

    p.s. in such a state, stay away from coffee, and get more chocolate!

  • At 8/31/2005 8:53 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    Oversensitized? That's actually a perfect word for it, Doshar!

    Tried to do the firend thing, but neither of us really had enough time, so it's postponed. So say thank you for your sister!:)

    Will surely try the chocolate advice. I actually think I need it.

  • At 9/01/2005 1:19 AM, Blogger MoonLightShadow said…

    What's up with busy friends these days?! I really wonder!

    That chocolate advice is a good one ya Doshar, tried it before, and sometimes it works :)

  • At 9/01/2005 7:13 AM, Blogger Alina said…

    I don't know, Moon! But I'm trying to make the time...See?

  • At 9/01/2005 9:01 AM, Blogger Rain said…

    isn't it kindda strange!! I just wrote something like this on my blog.....!

  • At 9/01/2005 5:25 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    Really, ok, I'll check it right now!

  • At 9/20/2005 1:59 AM, Blogger Mohamed Meshref said…

    When you feel with this again, just make sure you're not sleeping :P

    Iam just kidding, I was passing over your blog again, nice one :)

  • At 9/20/2005 11:48 AM, Blogger Alina said…

    :)) Funny! Anyway, it passed, quite quickly, actually!

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Name: Alina
Home: Bucharest, Bucharest, Romania
About Me: "This is my church. This is where I heal my hurts". It's also where I feel free and my preferred means of expression.
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