I have been having troubles falling asleep these past two nights. I just stare at the walls, thinking of a lot of things and then have a hard time getting up in the morning. I don’t know what exactly is playing with my mind. I usually have a lot on my mind, it’s a general state, but I had no problems sleeping before. Or maybe there’s just something missing or something I miss…Who knows?

Yesterday after work I met Oana at Carrefour. We both had stuff to buy and as we were hungry we first stopped at the McDonald’s. She was pretty upset and I couldn’t really do much to help her. But at least she found this great job within a huge company. It doesn’t compensate everything, but it’s a good start for her.

On the way home (a 10-15 minutes walk) all I could think about was to get out of those stupid high-heel shoes! They totally killed me! Cris was watching “Being Julia” when I arrived. And as I love the movie, I postponed my urgent shower for 20 minutes to see this wonderful performance. I still think Julia was an Oscar part, but I have no power over these decisions…Yet!

While I was reading Eve’s blog, I suddenly remembered the embarrassing conversation I had with Oana about her birthday. She has to take certain people out separately. I really wouldn’t want to be around ET! It’s not that it hurts, it’s not that I can’t handle it! It’s just that I simply don’t want to see him or his sister anymore. I am pretty tired of this pretend friendship! No, things didn’t end nicely, I got really hurt and felt really betrayed. No, we didn’t stay friends and we will never be friends. No, I’m not buying the “Really missed you, just didn’t care if you were alive though” attitude!

Things look pretty good in my life right now. I am surrounded by wonderful people so I really wouldn’t see one reason to expose myself to those that don’t really matter, regardless of their role in my past. The past is gone, after all…I do wish things were different in the past so that this segregation wouldn’t affect Oana’s choice in how to celebrate her birthday. But what happened cannot be undone.

I was thinking yesterday about how far I got, how much stronger I become during the year that passed. I started out totally depending on ET in what my computer was concerned and almost flunked an exam because he didn’t find the time to take care of the viruses in my computer. Thanks again, Cristina, you were a life-saver. Then got to installing my operating system on my own, starting to learn HTML and now I’m seriously interested in doing corporate support for an IT&C company, on their antivirus department! How funny is that? But I have to tell you I am proud of how I learned to manage on my own in so many hard situations!

In January I even started this blog. To get things off my chest, to let it all out! And it did more than that for me. I met a lot of wonderful persons and found out a lot of interesting things. Some of that people area really quite amazing in real life as well! Some of the people I knew in real life turned out to be amazing on the blogosphere. Moreover, I did practice writing and did eventually re-started writing novels.