Words of a Broken Mirror: Tips on How to Google a Potential Girlfriend

As you all know, or don’t know, I have started a new career in technical supporting. As I come to love and quite enjoy it most of the times, I’ve thought about launching a new WoBM product, called “How-to-articles”, this being the first of a longer or shorter series (depending on the time I have and the mood I’m in).

Our first topic that needs some support is how to find a great girlfriend (or at leas a girl you would be interested in going out with for a couple of times). In a world where time, speed and basically just staying attached to your computer is so important, these tips might actually help.

Why use Google and not some chat room you might ask. Well, to avoid the annoying asl pls first! :) And other stupid questions like “wanna cyber?” after the first “Hi” line. And because you can select several features to add to your search.

The first option is this: launch Google using your browser of choice. Type the system requirements as explicit and clear as possible. Make sure you type plenty of those, to reduce the number of returned pages. Then search all the pages returned by the search engine and use a Pros and Cons list to choose the future person. After selecting that person, you also have to try and locate some type of contact details to get in touch. If this operation is a success, then you can move to composing a funny-interesting-interested-not-a-freak email to send to that person. Then spend days/weeks/months trying to convince her you are the perfect couple and that you should meet.

Now I can sense the “WTF are you talking about?” question in your eyes and the smile saying “That’ll never work” smile on your lips. And to be honest, you are right! That is why we created a temporary workaround until our team can provide a solution for this error. As the workaround is very complicated and the technical details could kill you, I will use an example to describe it.

One day, a certain guy (let’s call him K) was in front of his computer, having his normal busy-busy day. As he had no use for the Internet connection for the moment, he though he should put that time to good use and download something. As he had already decided he liked Morandi’s song “Love me” and as he had heard the band had released some new singles, he thought he should google Morandi mp3s.

So he typed www.google.com or .ro in his browser and hit “Enter”. Then he typed “Morandi mp3” and he hit “Enter” again. He was somehow directed to a weird page (cherry-red and pink and a doggie-clock and lots of text) with a large post about Morandi “Love me”. He felt like reading the post and checking out who wrote it. It was this girl with a weird name for her country, Kayla Vincent, that happened to live in the same beautiful city as him, Bucharest.

He thought she was kind of interesting and maybe if she loved that song so much, she might have more mp3s of the same band. So he looked into her profile, got an YIM ID and typed an offline message.

The second day she replied that message stating she had the whole “Reverse” album which she intended to send via email. As her Internet Connection was kind of slow and she used the yahoo address to send the attachments it took a few days. They kept on talking on messenger and he thought he should send her some songs as well.

Even if he wanted to, he still wouldn’t be able to tell you how this turned into a daily activity: exchanging music, chit-chatting, having fun, sharing thoughts…One day they decided to meet to exchange movies (there was no way to do that via email!) so they went for a drink to a nice little terrace in Herastrau. He also brought some pictures from his sister’s engagement party that he had recently attended. They had fun, and then he drove her home.

About a week or so later, they were going to the mountains together and a month later they had serious problems spending 5 days apart! So, now tell me, isn’t this the perfect workaround? :))

I hope this will do for the repeated demands for a K post.