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Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Then & Now

Even to this day, I can perfectly remember a conversation I’ve once had with Diana, a girl I thought closest to me at a certain point of my life. We were at McDonalds, in Ploiesti. Sitting on the terrace, drinking Coca-Cola and smoking Kent 8. We were young, smart and cool, that was our image of ourselves. It was towards the end of the school year, we were finishing 11th grade and we were talking about how University years would be like.

We were portraying a future image of ourselves. We saw each other in a few years, meeting for lunch or dinner, clubbing and shopping in Bucharest, going to romantic dinners and taking trips to the seaside, to the mountains and to other countries on our own. No parent or teacher supervision. And of course, academic success/glamorous career a certain business dress code!

Well I do all that. I meet my friends for coffee, lunch, dinner or late drinks with my friends. I have had my share of romantic dinners and of trips I will never forget. I work and sometimes use the business dress code, mixed with a little personal flavor…I also have a car, which was like the top of my dreams.

So I managed to do all that, all that we were talking about, planning in detail. I am surrounded by different people though. And is this really success?

I also remember precisely my professional wishes were to 1. become a writer and 2. manage a hotel/hotel chain. I only have a decent shot at the last one. Writing has somehow turned into something similar to a hobby: the blog, the occasional diary entries (my most affected by influences pieces of work actually), the articles I write for work.

I also remember that, whenever I’d make a wish, it would never be a wish for love. Not because I did not think of it as important. But I just thought it is something that comes with the territory: the loved one, saved just for me, as it happens for everybody. I thought love to be the one gift humans always receive to get through with their lives, to make the then kinder, full of hope, better. Now I just think it’s something the lucky ones find at a certain point. No one knows for how long…

Adolescence is that special period of one’s life when one grows wings and is convinced anything is possible. While time passes, society convinces you there are certain limitations. There are none. No real ones, I mean. Just the ones we make up to justify what we cannot do. Because we need someone or something to blame for everything we are not able to achieve.

posted by Alina @ 3:34 PM  
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Name: Alina
Home: Bucharest, Bucharest, Romania
About Me: "This is my church. This is where I heal my hurts". It's also where I feel free and my preferred means of expression.
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