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Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Return to myself
My birthday was only about three weeks ago, but since then my life started to get on the right track. I did not change radically: I did not stop talking that much, I did not become someone else, I did not take up a new hobby. I just re-became myself…I had forgotten how it felt to never be upset or angry or lonely or depressed for 30 minutes tops. How it felt to begin each day with a smile on my face or to enjoy the things I love most: reading a book, rollerblading, seeing movies, going to see a performance, spending time with good friends, walking and smiling while others were just walking…

I rediscovered myself and the simple pleasures of being a totally optimistic person and a hopeless romantic…I don’t really know how I could get so far from my true self in the past few years or how I could survive it for so long. But I know red still feels better than any other color, laughing at everything beats always complaining about how unhappy and lonely I feel and having just a few good friends is way better than investing a lot in people that are just using me.

Indeed, it is very hard to admit to yourself that people that you loved were just using you. But I was being just a huge coward by not facing it. Now I realize I actually have more friends than I thought and making new ones is not that horrifying, judging by the Andreea experience from the last ballet I’ve seen.

This weekend I saw a friend of mine from primary school. She moved to Bucharest some time ago and she gave me her phone number. She is quite busy too, but I have high hopes we will get together soon. We used to be pretty close when we were kids and I remember she spent the whole day crying when Michael came for his first concert in Romania. I wonder how she feels about that day now, given what‘s been going on with the world famous trial…

Strange Romanian Facts: Some teenagers, a 12-year-old girl and to 15-year-old boys filmed themselves while having normal, anal and oral sex. Lots of CDs containing what they did were then distributed throughout their home town. How do the authorities plan to handle this? The girl may be permanently expelled from the educational system. So, they see she’s on a very wrong track and they plan to prevent her from getting some sort of education to punish her. I wonder if she’ll continue to go on the wrong track or if she’ll just turn her life around without the proper education. Gee, tough question!

So, instead of trying to make them see they were wrong and help them do something about all this, let’s just punish them as hard as we can! Never mind the killers, rapers, drug dealers and pornography promoters that we could do something about. Now, these kids are the ultimate criminals and they should pay for their crimes!

The school headmaster was very angry the girl brought shame on their school. Yet he never stopped to wonder why does a 12-year-old do that? Why does she agree to a threesome and to all kinds of sex at that age? The teachers, who are supposed to somehow guide their students in life, the parents, who are supposed to supervise them, aren’t they to blame? No, let’s not ask questions, let’s expel the girl and let’s charge the boys (minors themselves) for having sex with a minor…That’s a lot better!
posted by Alina @ 12:06 PM  
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Name: Alina
Home: Bucharest, Bucharest, Romania
About Me: "This is my church. This is where I heal my hurts". It's also where I feel free and my preferred means of expression.
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