Today, over lunch, I’ve had an interesting conversation with my colleagues regarding lifestyles, women and their choices. The core story that started this conversation was of a friend living in Austria. She was married and had two children and all her day was spent brunching with friends, going to spas and shopping. She used to have a quite successful career but gave it up after getting married and having the children.
I said I could definitely not do it. Such a lifestyle was completely unfit for me, as I tend to value my present and even more my future career. The general view was you can actually get used to having it all the easy way: money pouring in your joint back account from your husband. True, at a certain point, if money is out of the question and you do not have some real independence (I want to make my own money) issues, you might decide you no longer need to work to pay bills.
Agreed, such a case can mesmerize everyone. However, in such a case, I guess all of us would try to do what they like most: change jobs and not choose depending on the salary, start doing everything you postponed, reading more, traveling more…But why this general idea that given all these possibilities the normal choice would be to become a housewife? If you already hire a nanny and have someone cleaning and cooking, what does being a housewife mean? Just shopping and seeing your days go by?
Would it not make you feel unhappy, limited and desperate? It would make some feel so, why is “shopping cures all” idea the general cure for such states? If the people you meet are as desperate as you are, would you not get tired and bored of them? Would you not want to start fresh, do something, and meet new people?
Obsessing about the perfect look and the perfect outfit are just obsessions you get from such a lifestyle. Why should one consider them high-class keens? I do happen to believe such an environment generates snobbism, discrimination and others of sorts. Also, I guess nothing but your own personal and work related accomplishment can make you feel better about yourself. Having a career, being a wife and a mom, being everything you wanted! Yes, you might take a break at forty-something, pull out your know-how and acquaintances to help a non-profit cause, get a less demanding job to have time for other issues also. But give all up to play house? Because it is playing if you leave the kids to the care of nannies and go spend some time with your friends. How would you prevent boredom in such a case?
Do we prefer an easier way? Yes, people usually do! I would like to be able to leave in the best area of Bucharest and have an addiction to obscenely expensive shoes, all this paid by a weekly column in a local paper. Yes, I do refer to Sex and the City. We all dream to work less and accomplish more, travel more…But from here to seeing a rich husband as a getaway and worship such a lifestyle? I don’t think so! Anyway, was glad to see I was not the only one worshiping a false god…
Tags: Carrers, Lifestyles, Women, Common Beliefs.