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Friday, December 22, 2006
Early thoughts
“Maybe I’ll change, who knows”
“I don’t think so. I think you are feeling too good about who you are right now”
“How do you know that? Maybe there’s only misery down there”
“If there were, then you would try to change something, make it better”
“Maybe I can’t…”

This dialogue did actually happen. But it might not be correctly re-written all the way, as my mind is blurry late at night and early in the morning and the conversation was in Romanian. And of course, because it was a mix of seriousness and fun making, therefore the idea, out of the context, is what’s important here.

The result was that it got me thinking. Yes, at certain times in our lives, we get trapped into a certain situation, a certain lifestyle and certain actions. The “stuck in a moment you just can’t get out of” idea. It happens to all of us. We are too used to a certain situation, we prefer to let it be instead of doing our best to get out. The eternal circles we get trapped into.

But there is still something I do not agree with. The use of the word “cannot”. I cannot help it. I can’t change it. This is who I am. I vote for “will not” here. “I am not exactly happy, but it’s not bad enough to do something about it. Or it is but I’m too lazy”. That is what I am fighting against. We are limited enough to also build additional limits that we refuse to surpass. Obstacles to stumble upon should only come from outside.

I am convinced we are the only ones with responsibilities and duties to ourselves. We have to strive to make our lives better, to go to the depths of our soul and discover what we need to make ourselves happy, to be faithful to our beliefs and our dreams. Cause otherwise, as Bart said once, no one else will.

All that said, I am never cease to be amazed by how people learn to love their misery, their unhappiness. Yes, what is yours is different and special, your problems are the most important ones just because they are yours. Still, don’t get attached to what does not make you ultimately happy. There are a lot of things to be keen on. Why choose the ones that harm you.

posted by Alina @ 10:43 AM  
  • At 12/22/2006 11:46 AM, Blogger Ali la Loca said…

    This is such a timely post for me, Alina. It's important for me to remember that I can change any situation I'm in. I always have a choice. It's strange how we get attached to misery somethimes, how the ability to complain and solicit sympathy from others is actually almost addictive.

    Very good points. :)

  • At 12/22/2006 1:14 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    Glad you agree with me, Ali. These are points I also have to remember sometimes.

  • At 12/22/2006 1:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I agree with you, i feel that myself all the time, sometimes i feel am trapped in my own life, the routinic life am living everyday is the same, and deep inside am not happy with it, but deep inside also i feel i can change it, those who say "cannot" are really just lazy to search for the light inside of them, to brighten up their days and make a nice life to live, days going are not coming back, and we're not gonna spend them crying over our current situations we can change them, but it takes time and patience, it's not easy but it's also not impossible..

  • At 12/22/2006 2:37 PM, Blogger tazart said…

    good work mess

  • At 12/22/2006 3:38 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    PinKy, you are quite right. It is a matter of choice if certain aspects of our lives are changed or not. But it is never impossible.

    Tazart, glad you liked it.

  • At 12/23/2006 12:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It's a good post, but I'd love to know what the rest of the conversation was.

  • At 12/23/2006 4:50 AM, Blogger Rose said…

    Happy Holidays Alina

  • At 12/23/2006 6:23 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    Safiya, it wass : Of course you can!
    Maybe I am too lazy..

    Then we changed the subject.

    Rose, thank you. Hope you enjoy everymoment of these holidays.

  • At 12/27/2006 4:55 PM, Blogger SzélsőFa said…

    Hello, Alina,
    you have a valuable blog here and this is my first visit and first comment. Came over from Bart's.
    Re: this post.
    It could have been written about me as well. Sad, but true. I am working on it with the help of friends and a good kinesiology therapist, too. I hope it will work for me but - so far my unconsciuos self does everything against a reasonable improvement. It is hard, very hard. And I am not as young as you are.

  • At 1/01/2007 3:19 PM, Blogger Monica R said…

    I liked your post... it's so real.. It's even very difficult to leave with people that think their problems are the most important and they don't see the good parts... at all... no matter what the others are doing...
    I leave in such a situation and I am telling you it's not fun at all... but I start this year with a lot of good hopes and with a lot of dreams.

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Name: Alina
Home: Bucharest, Bucharest, Romania
About Me: "This is my church. This is where I heal my hurts". It's also where I feel free and my preferred means of expression.
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